Iran Launches “Ethical” Dating Site

Website founder Saïd Amin considers what a government-backed dating site might look like. And, he asks, will anyone use it?

As the founder of IranianPersonals.com, the largest dating site for the Iranian diaspora, my curiosity was piqued when Iran recently announced plans to combat “immoral” online dating websites by launching an official online matrimony service. While there is no shortage of dating sites across the globe (8,000+ websites according to Forbes), news of a government preparing to launch its own official national matchmaking site is unprecedented.

With a population of 10 million people eligible for marriage and rigid social restrictions that hinder opportunities for singles to meet in public, there is strong demand among the youth to find outlets for meeting a spouse —hence the immense popularity of matchmaking sites and social networks. While Iranian internet service providers block access to most matchmaking sites, Iranians are adept at using forbidden Virtual Private Network services to bypass these restrictions. 

In recent statements, Mr. Mahmoud Golzari, Iran’s Deputy Minister of Sports and Youth Affairs, said 300 websites in Iran work under the guise of “hamsar yabi”’ (spouse-finding). Mr. Golzari also said that such sites are unethical and illegally promote short-term marriages. “To curb such illegal activities, the Ministry [of Sports and Youth Affairs] is designing a website to help youths find their ideal spouse, in collaboration with the Tebyan Institute.”

Although there are strict prohibitions and taboos against premarital sex in Iran, they are increasingly circumvented by way of “sigheh” – a Shia tradition that permits short-term marriage. Mr. Golzari contends that casual matchmaking websites’ availability has promoted both pre-marital sexual relations and casual/dating relationships, both regularly condemned as part of Western or liberal values.

Marriage longevity has also become a serious concern for the government, particularly given its boastful attitude toward the stability of Iran’s families, which it claims is superior to the West’s. Mr. Golzari labeled the significant uptick of divorces in Iran as “worrying.” According to Mr. Golzari, “In Iran, for every five marriages there is one divorce...in Tehran, [this ratio] is three to one. Eighty percent of people who get divorced in the country are under the age of 30.”

Another set of government concerns includes population growth and birthrates, which, after a precipitous fall between 1980 and 2000, has steadied, though it has remained flat for the last decade, at around 1.92 births per woman (2012 figures). Through Iran’s matrimony website, the regime hopes to promote marriage and, in the process, increase the country’s population.

What will the world’s first government-created matchmaking site look like? Moreover, will Iranians trust their government and use the service? Will this also serve as a catalyst for other Muslim nations, with strict gender segregation rules, to follow suit and launch their own matrimonial sites — one that fits within their respective religious, social and matrimonial norms? Having met my wife on IranianPersonals.com and as the owner of a matchmaking company, I know that software can empower people to make meaningful connections. Plans to launch a government-backed matrimony site reveal just how important the Iranian regime sees its role as a paternalistic, guiding force in people’s private lives. But software, like governance, is only as effective as the extent to which it meets the true needs of people. Good software development, therefore, requires a feedback loop that incorporates its users’ experience; it requires the developer to listen, learn, and adapt. With Iran's matrimony site, we may gain the chance to see what type of software developer Iran’s government chooses to be.